Question:

Need advice asap!!

by Guest7559 | earlier

I hope you can help me sort this out. I have a 5 year old girl with a man that I was never married to. We separated 2 years ago mainly because he was a drug addict and had a violent temper; He would throw things, scream, etc... Today I have a happy family consisting of my finance, 8 year old from a previous relationship and my daughter. My sons father and I were very young when we had him and it was always understood that he was my child and I would solely care and support him. My sons paternal grandma picks him up occasionally and he visits his father then. This situation works for us. The problem is my daughters father. He was in her life until she was a toddler so she considers him her daddy but the first year of our separation he did not even call her once he realized we were not getting back together. I have not filed for support or obtained any legal documentation of custody, with the hopes he would just go away. Well now he has started to call..Sometimes 3 or 4 times a day and other times it will be weeks or even months apart. I am presuming he still has drug issues and this is why he is doing this. The problem is my daughter loves him. It is her dad, and she thinks she can just go over and even spend the night if she wants. I feel guilty to say no but my maternal instinct says do not let her. I fear of what may occur and have a million reasons why. Is it wrong to try to separate them even if I feel he is a hazard to her? Should I try and obtain child support for her so she can have a better life or am I protecting her by not getting court order visitation/support. Please help I am so lost.
Thanks.

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ZZ

Thanks for writing. Well, we have several issues here to consider. The first being the safety of your daughter. This is the first consideration above everything else. If you suspect there are drug issues/violence/etc. going on in the house and possibly while your daughter is there, I would certainly never allow this child to be around this at all!

If your daughter insist to meet her father then the things are bit different for you. As there always be a love in between a daughter and a father. So what you can do is that this meeting could be an official meeting in the presence of some legal personals. You should not tell your daughter that you father is drug addict, but you should tell authorities about this fact. Ask them that you need supervised visitation. Because you never know that how many people will be there in the house. So there always be a danger.

So you need to protect your daughter from an unseen mis-happening.

Best of luck.

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