My friend and i like the same guy, but i dont want a fight what should i do

1 ANSWERS

1. Ali Abdullah
   

   Hi, If you really like this guy and want to see where things with him could go, then you’ve got to tell your best friend how you feel. Will it hurt her? Yeah, probably. But it will sting so much more if you don’t clue her in. From what it sounds like to me, you’re not willing to forgo what could be a romantic relationship with this guy simply because your friend likes (liked?) him too. And that’s okay! You deserve happiness too, right? And what’s more, he doesn’t like your friend in that way, and he’s giving you flirtatious signals that say “hey, I like you!” So sit your best friend down and talk to her about how you feel. Make sure she understands how much you care about her and her feelings, and that while you would never want to do anything to hurt or betray her, you really like this guy (and you have for quite some time now), and if it’s okay with her, you’d like to give things a shot with him. Of course she may very well say no, that it’s not okay with her and she’d prefer you didn’t go after him (keep in mind, she’s just been rejected by this guy and the mere idea of watching her best friend go after him, and possibly get him, hurts), and if that happens, you have a choice to make. You can either go for him anyway, and risk losing your friend, or you can respect her wishes and realize that she’s hurting right now, and in time, if she’s really the best friend you think she is (and if you still dig him), she’ll realize how respectful it was of you to come forward and tell her how you feel, and in turn, if you like him that much and he makes you happy, she won’t want to deny you – her greatest friend – of that. (Of course she may say it’s fine and then go out and buy a look-a-like voodoo doll of you and start poking needles through your eyes…not that I’ve ever done that or anything!) But the important thing to realize is that you deserve happiness and if you truly like this guy you have every right to go for him, but in doing so, be open and honest with your best friend and show consideration for her feelings. If you expect her to be a good friend to you (and be okay with dating the guy she was just rejected by), then its imperative you be a kind and thoughtful friend to her too. Good luck!

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