Question:

Married Man, Married Woman - Emotional Affair

by Guest8872199  |  5 years, 6 month(s) ago

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I am married. Been unhappy probably 12 years. 2 small children. I work in a field dominated by men. Recently I was assigned to work with a very confident, powerful, married man. Innocent attraction and flirting began. He made the first move, texting me in the evenings, going beyond work related discussion, tempted me. I was unhappy, I wanted to be 'in love' and let myself fall for him. It was amazing for about 2-3 months. I couldn't wait to see him, work was a joy, all aspects of my life were happy. We never had s*x, all emotional with some very hot kissing here and there. I fell in love. He started the whole thing, but says he loves his wife. He's the most amazing father I've ever seen and I know he wants to keep his family, but I am still baffled at what he wanted with me. He criticizes me for being too emotional and says he never wanted to be in love. Well I guess I did, not necessarily with him, but he made it sooo easy. We have ended all 'inappropriate' behavior, but I cannot stop thinking of him, I do anything to get his attention and want him back in a romantic way. Working together regularly and being 'good' friends is making me crazy because all I want to do is grab his hand, drink in the smell of his cologne and get lost in his eyes. How do I end this? I have to work with him. I know I need to be strictly work friends with him, but I just can't stop myself from stalking him online, walking where I know he'll be and dressing up to impress him. I just keep hoping I'll find that trigger that will bring his attention to me and he won't be able to resist. I don't want his family ruined, I just want his attention when he is not with them.

 Tags: affair, emotional, Married, WOMAN

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14 ANSWERS

  1. Guest28144281

     Please use your common sense. Why would you need attention from someone else and you are married? If your marraige has been that bad for that long why didnt you get out of it before you had two young children? Being from a family where my mom cried and complained of her unhappiness everyday it doesn't help the children at all if you stay in the situation. Be a smart woman that your kids can look up to and if you want someone different divorce your husband and do it right with a man who isn't married and will have interest in only you. Karma is a b****. Just be careful. Good luck.

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  3. Guest28045372

    what about when a married man pursued the married woman.  Woman held back but was going through marital issues and the married man was what she needed at that time.  Neither wanted a relationship (friends only) but yet s*x was involved.  Now that woman was beginning to have feelings wants to end it the married man will not respond to the woman.

  4. Guest27867646

     It s funny how many of us there are out there in the same boat.  I have been married 26 years with 2 children 15 and 23.  I met someone through work and it stayed strictly platonice for 6 years.  Then one day through business travel and some drinking the ice was broken and we bacame intimate one night.  The affair lasted 10 years and to this day, although it has been about two years, we still yearn for one another.  This was the person who may have been my soulmate.  I will never know for sure. I would never do anthing...else...that would hurt my family.

  5. Guest23188898

    Life is cruel, in one sense.  Our circumstances change.  Our interests and activities change throughout our lives.  We discover new interests, get involved in new activities and meet new people with similar interests involved in the same activities, as our circumstances change.  At some point in the midst of these changes, we meet someone whom we feel is the right person for the rest of our lives.  And yet, the changes in our lives continue.  We discover new interests, get involved in new activities and meet new people with similar interests involved in the same activities.  At some point in the midst of these changes, we meet someone whom we feel is the right perons for the rest of our lives.

  6. Guest22668936

    i am a married man persured a married woman with two teenage kids.she is older but hot i told her i am very attracted to her to her,she is beautiful.i am friends with her husband and at times find some excuse just to see her .the feeling is mutual we have been goin for almost 8months. out of that 4 are intirmate.we know each othe for three years. she never said she loves me but when she is near it is like magic.the look, smile, dress and will do anything i ask even if she is busy. i think i may be fallin in love with her do you think she loves me or is it just about the intirmacy.my wife and i have been living apart for 1yr on and off.i cant even remeber the last tym she touched me

  7. Guest22432110

    It never ceases to amuse me that people who use the excuse of "I am unhappy in my marriage..." seem determined to spread that unhappiness around.  If you have been unhappy for 12 years, then that's on you.  You should have gotten out of that marriage a long time ago and looked for someone who you could be happy with, if you're the type of person who even lets herself BE happy.

    I don't agree that the man in this case is somehow more culpable than this woman.  He has a responsibility to his own wife, to be sure - but the one who is cheating on her husband is HER.  She's the one who he took the vows with, not the other guy.

    I can understand wanting to be happy.  I can't understand wanting to wreck another family and hurt his kids just so YOU can be happy.  I also don't understand staying in a marriage for 12 years when you're not happy.  You're not doing yourself, your husband or your own kids any favors by staying and showing them the twisted personality you've become.

  8. Guest22415470

     I completely understand where you are.....just remember to keep strong and know that you will find someone that deserves all of you not just some of you. 

    Never make someone your priority when you are just their option....it hurts.....and easier said than done....but it gets easier as time goes on. 

  9. Guest21857377

     Any man who makes a move on a married woman is opportunistic human filth. Seriously, it doesn't matter what sweet nothings he whispers in your ears, he's a sociopath, especially if he's pursuing you knowing full well you're married.

    And your husband probably loves you very much, you're suffering from some self esteem issues and you're going to devastate him if you cheat on him. The man you're married to MARRIED YOU and had a family, what else do you need to know to reassure yourself that you're with someone who loves you and wants you for himself, when a man marries, that's him assuring you that you're his "one" -- think about that before stealing intimacy from your marriage and giving it to someone who just wants to have s*x with a lot of women with no regard to you, your marriage or very simple human decency.

  10. Guest21045070
    It`s so not worth it honey believe me .If you find yourself doing all of that for this man then it`s not worth it at all .
  11. Guest20635769
    I agree with what they have said, its not getting you into the castle baby. You're gonna end up doomed if you still insist what you want. See I have been there, same spot that you are in right now. the difference was he didn't get into my way that easy and I didn't invest any affection/emotion on it. Well, I admit, we both had our own share of "one lusty night" and I am not proud of it. I have a very loving husband and i do feel guilty of me having done such "stupid act" of sleeping with other man. yeah partly, the need of being a woman was satisfied but emotionally it doesnt. As for me, I have learned my lesson. I won't be doing the same stupid mistake again. Save your family. Save yourself. as mention, "men are born hunters, they want those things that they cant have, dont be trapped again...
  12. Guest17194537
    Don't be stupid! get a life with your own husband. don't be a home wrecking w***e. You will regret this later on, my husband does. he slept with a married woman being married to me because of all this stupid s**t and now he walks around with his head down and regrets it everytime. it is going no where. he loves his wife but at the same time wants a slideline w***e. don't lower your self to being the sideline w***e when you are already the wife= The queen..
  13. Guest9642819
    "I don't want his family ruined, I just want his attention when he is not with them" Honey, you and I both know that if it were to continue like that, it would not be enough. You deserve better than someone you have to share. What is more likely to happen is that your husband will find out, may not stand by you, and you are going to be left holding the bag, because this man ain't leaving his wife and kids. You will be alone. He is not going to build a life with you because he is using you physically and emotionally to meet his needs, but he does not want to, and will not dismantle his family over it. This is part of the lies we women tell ourselves when we get involved with men like this, though. Get a different job if you have to, but don't ensnare yourself like this. You are living on your feelings and your emotions, and making decisions based on the deception they will bring you and it is sooooo dangerous. I'm sure you are smart, beautiful, and captivating. Channel all those good qualities into your husband. Educate your husband on what he could do to make you feel good, and likewise learn from him. Don't view your marriage as something where you are there just to get your needs met, but also to meet your husbands needs. Not saying your needs aren't important, but you need to tell a man what you want, or trust me, he ain't gonna get it. Trust me, I've been there and done that.
  14. Guest8884129
    Part time love is good for some and for others it causes lots of problems. you must be attractive women who knows how to handle herself, which is why he went along with you at times. I think he is doing the right thing in staying away; it takes a very long time to build a family and one moment can mess up everything. Like you said he is an amazing father, which means he will stand by his family. Also men are hunters and want only the things they cannot get. initially he fell for you but than you made it too easy and hunters don't want easy hunt. You should try to dress up for your husband; challenge yourself and see if you can get your husband to notice you with the animal instinct again. See if you can get him to dream about you and see if you can drive him crazy. who knows; maybe just maybe you can create the lost spark all over again.

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