Question:

I spanked my 12 year old son?

by Guest1758  |  11 years, 11 month(s) ago

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he had a few friends sleep over last night. and they all snuck out to go down the street to a girls house, and they all snuck out too. i went downstairs at 3 in the morning to check on them. and they were gone, so i looked outside and the three boys were walking in. and i pretended to laugh it off and i just calmly asked him where he was. and then when we got inside i took him into the basement and got a fly swatter and pulled down his pants, put him over the couch and spanked him about 12 times in front of his friends. was this wrong for me to do?

 Tags: 12, son, spanked

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  1. Guest28304509

     You were right........I would have used his belt.and left stripes and welts for them to see and him to feel for a number of days!

  2. Guest28259683

     Yea I would definitely say you were wrong and you should seek professional help for you and for your son cause he will need it after he becomes the biggest joke amongst all his friends! Not saying you were wrong for choosing to punish your son cause if your still one them parents that believe's "corporal punishment" is still the best means to control your son then you should have at least had enough decency to send his friends back outside while you take your son in the basement to discipline him! This would have spared him the psychological and humiliating torture he is almost now certainly going through!

  3. Guest28158947

    yes you should have spanked in front of his friends in his underwear.

    and his frinds too! but next time use something sting like your hand or a belt, ruler, or a paddle

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  5. Guest28095056

    You had every right to spank him even in front of his friends, you should have even spanked his friends, sense it in the middle of the night.

    Next time use a belt or paddle, spank them all in there underwear.

    I hope you grouned him for a long time!

    If you only used a fly swatter, it dose not work!

    If it was my son not only would I have spanked him I would have grounded him also as well as put him in time out!

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  7. Guest25011557

    I am more disturbed by the comment of stripping down 15 year girl naked ..in front of relatives and haveing everyone spank her. I personally think its wrong on so many levels.. she has to face the problem of that picture getting out there now also to have the whole family invade your privacy as well? the photo of her in her bra ..NOT NAKED for a whole audiance.

    as for the woman who spanked 12year old ... Grounding is more appropriate, you people just ruined and tramatized your kids and when your old and need help you will be shoved in a nursing home and no one will be there to stop them from abusing you.

  8. Guest25010478

    hey my name is dylan and im 15 and to the women who asked this question and to the woman who found her 15 year old in a bra: i wanna just FUCKINGG punch U! right now my little sister is gonna post an answer that is going to change everyone's lives. If you read her answer, no matter how old you are, its  gonna change your life I can tell you THAT much..

  9. Guest25009866

    i found pictures of my 15 year old in her bra on her phone, i was fuming and the next week it was a family gathering, i was there with my husband, our parents, aunties, and lots of people, anyway once my daughter came down, i told everyone to be quiet, i told her i found the pictures and said how angry i was. i ordered her to undress. she refused, i said if you act like a s**t i will treat you like one. she eventually gave in and took her top off, then her tights, and then the skirt. i said and the rest, she lowered her knickered and removed the bra,  i put her over my lap and smacked her bum untill it was red, i got everyone else to spank her in turn, and sent her to her room.

  10. Guest24957782

     Coming from a 12 year old girl: omg! You should have punished him differently. YOU EMBARASSED HIM INFRONT OF HIS FRIENDS AND NOW HE WILL PROBABLY GET PICKED ON UNTIL HE LEAVES SCHOOL. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW OR WHAT!?!? LOOK WHAT YOU JUST DID! YOU SHOULD HAVE SPANKED HIM AFTER HIS FRIENDS LEFT SO HE WOULDN'T BE HUMILIATED! NOW HE PROBABLY LOST ALL HIS FRIENDS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!! THAT SURE IS GOING TO AFFECT YOUR MOTHER-SON RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER! IF HE REFUSES TO ALK TO YOU,ON'T COME CRYIN TO ME OR ANYONE ELSE,YOU DID IT! IM ON YOUR SON'S SIDE. HE SHOULD ACTUALLY REPORT YOU FOR THIS!!! I MEAN,COME ON!THAT WAS TOOO OVERBOARD! WAAAY TOOO OVERBOARD!!!

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  15. Skyler

    im 12 reading this and. . .wtf

  16. Guest24089565

    So what, my grandparents were spanked(with a belt) if they misbehaved. My parents were spanked, and so were my siblings and I. Thats the problem these days, parents are too friken scared to discipline there kids. Everyones too worried what other people think about there parenting skill. And thats why kids these days turn out to be the spoiled rotten scum bags like your Snooki's and your Kardashians. Kids need discipline, sometimes just repeating the word "No" or "Stop It" needs a little reinforcement. If I have to tell my kid more than once, He gets a whooping...Not a beating...He recieves discipline...And guess what, It works!

  17. Guest23945629

     you are a disturbing person for even writing that statement.

  18. Guest23363529

    omg,your that meen?

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  19. Guest23345139

    I would have used my belt, or even a razor strop I keep for "specail occasions" and this was sure a specail one! Furthermore, I'd have given the other boys a spanking with the same implement I used on my son! With 3 teen sons at home, and plenty of their friends staying over, us parents have an agreement, if tthey need to be spanked-do it!

  20. Guest23350882

    meanie.

  21. Guest23350882

    I certainly agree with guest23344491..I think I have to and should report you for this...for one,you probably made this little boy lose his friends..poor him..you should be ashamed of yourself..I think i shoulkd report you...

    umm,911???

    (there is this really abusive mom who ruined her child's life and childhood)

    Coming from a mom herself,a 47 year old.
    Well,I can report you if i want to,and if the website sees this,and disagreee with what you have done,they could report you 2,so i guess i don't have to worry about it.bye.

    BYE!4EVAREE!!!:)

  22. Guest23344491

    COMING FROM A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL: This was sooo wrong because:

    1)Maybe he snuck out because he has an abusive mom!

    2)You shouldn't (never) embarass your own son (especially in front of friends)!

    3)That is not a right way to disipline your child..you should either ground them,make them work harder with chores or something,or take away one of their toys but not spank them i mean come on,he's already 12!

    4)He will remember what you did,and he will hate you...FOREVER!!!!

    Hope that works...be asamed of yourself!!!FOREVER!!!BYE!

    i hate you alreadyy

    ~From:SMART girl who KNOWS HOW 2 DISIPLINE CHILDREN 12 year old girl :|

  23. Guest23286648

    yes, i think it was a little much. he's 12, you could have just punished him instead of doing that. i think it was overboard...

  24. Guest23154616

    i think you were right to do what you did they could have been kidnapped. also  he should have not went to the girls house without you knowing not to mition when you found theme it was three in the mornig. my dad spank me for the same stufff althoughu i wasn't going to a friends house iwent in the pool in the back yard 10 foot deep. but i got a switch on my barebutt 32 times next time it should be that way for theme way to go obeying god 

  25. Guest22735203

    I was 14 at a friends house for a sleep over . This was in the country and we snuck out and drank some of his Dads beer. He found out pulled my friends pants down underware and all and beat his bare bottom red, and then he pulled my pants down and warmed my buns! He was also our asst football coach and I am still friends w/both of them today!

  26. Guest22702294

    No you were not wrong to spank him. If he was my son and he snuck out in the middle of the night like that i would have bared his bottom and given him a good hard hand spanking until his bottom was red raw.

  27. Guest17081125
    you disgusting sexual person! I know this is just a reason to look at your son but wait 'till his friends leave!I mean laghing it off. you b____* Seriosly, and then you take him and his friends to the basement, WOW great parent. I mean did you ever consider maybe that he was just friends with the girls. I'm friends with boys, now spank me in front of them. See how stupid you are !!!! And what you think he had s*x with them or something? Since you have a son you had s*x now lets humilate you.I hope your proud that your son will be a srewed up, drug selling pimp because you won't have a relationship with him to tell him thats wrong. Honestly I hope your proud for ruining his life.
  28. Guest16803053
    that is horrible ur sick and need help... lookin at ur suns bum and willy
  29. Guest16675862
    yes of coruse you did the right thing but u should of spanked his mates too
  30. Guest16214299
    If I ws his Dad I would kick your a*s you sicko !!!! Your no mother and you better believe hes going to hate you forever for that!!!!!! Would you have done that to a Daughter? h**l no-what a complete , sorry excuse for a Mother- I hope you get reported to CPS and he's put somewhere where he cab grow up in a loving home.
  31. Guest16168338
    You should have the kid taken away from you -unbelievable-And you call yourself a parent!!!! Spanking, pants down, in front of friends? Your one sick mother!!!!!! I already hate you and I can promise you he will hate you also-I can't even imagine a mother -son relationship after what you did. For all you other sickos who don't know how to talk in blogs-go get help will you!!!
  32. Guest16153711
    Your son got what he deserved. If he comes home late again, spanking with a switch about 30 times. That will leave teach him to behave. You did the right thing.
  33. Guest16135216
    Iwould have spanked him to. Iwould have made him strip down to just his underpants and bend over my knee. once in position i would have pulled down his pants and given him a good hard spanking then i would have done the same to his friends.
  34. Guest15902099
    You did the right thing. Next time, let his sister and her friends watch. In fact, let his sister participate, and give his jimmies a good whack, as well. That'll teach him a lesson - a lesson that you are an abusive, sick excuse for a human being. If the only way you know to discipline a child is by beating, humiliating and sexually abusing him, you should enroll in a good, long therapy session.
  35. Guest15884438
    Spanking at 12? and you puled his pants down? What if that was a daughter? would you have done the same thing? Of course not-It was way off base and you could be charged for child abuse... I think your dam wrong-there are so many more options available as mentioned in this blog you could have used!!!!! You need parenting classes!!!!!
  36. Guest15765340
    if my son do that i would spank him on his bare bottom with a belt in front of his friends and i would spank his friends too.
  37. Guest15558000
    That wasn't the right thing to do. I understand that your boy misbehaved and he deserved to be punished in some way but to humiliate him like that is just wrong.
  38. Guest15353001
    kids have to many rights,you fema,n**i,s,are libral pigs,scum.
  39. Guest15245363
    Personally you disgust me. Not only have you carried out an act of phsical assault on your 12 year old son, you did it infront of his friends? What were you thinking? Not only could this be damaging for your relationship with your son it could also by mentally scarring even for a 12 year old thats serious. Alternative punishments, grounding, no allowence etc. are much more effective forms of punishment as they make the child think the right way for example, Had you grounded your son the next time he was thinking of "sneaking" out he would have thought twice in the direction of "wait if i do this i won't be allowed out again" which is better then your child thinking "wait if i do this mums going to beat me up infront of my friends again". Anyone who thinks hitting a child with an inaminate object is a good idea clearly has some serious anger issues and shouldn't be allowed to have children in the firt place. I won't stand for this abuse stand being help up in this conversation it hasn't worked and it will never work. Im ashamed your clearly all way to caught up in the ways of old or maybe just can't comprehend not beating your child when their "naughty" the only thing your going to get about abusing a child by spanking them is some small self gratification, does it feel better? beating your child? damaging your relationship with them possibly for life? No it shouldn't feel good hence the saying "it's hurts me more then it hurts you"? this is absolute rubbish your not the one being punished infront of your friends at the age of 12 i know if this had happened to me, which it didn't because my parents don't believe in abuse, i know that we wouldn't have the excellent realtionship we have today. Think before you act out of rage next time and maybe you will still be talking to your kid in a few years time, sincerely me
  40. Guest14787930
    if my son snunk out i would have gotten a bag of coins worth ten dollars and spanked my son infront of his friends and the girls to!!Also i will to his friends!!then his friends go home!!it is not child abuse my son and friends will learn their lessons!!
  41. Guest14776823
    Im 12 like him but im a girl and i would NEVER sneak out. I think you went wayyy overboard though if my mom did that to me oh.my.god i would have flipped. I would never want to be embarrassed that muchh! I would understand not infront of his friends but woww!
  42. Guest14648045
    You are the parent and he is your child. If you have made it clear in the past that you will spank and have done so, then this is no different. First time spanking? Same rules. But now some comments. I don't think we should spank with anything other than our open hand, over their underpants. He's too old for his underpants to come down also. I don't believe in spanking on bare skin anyway,regardless of age. As far as spanking him in front of his friends, too bad! He'll survive.
  43. Guest14288434
    u did the right thing!!! If he acts like a child. U will punish him like a child, by pulling down his pants and spanking his bare bottom over your knee. IF that was my son, i would have spanked him so hard that he wouldnt have been able to sit down, i would have also done the same to his mates. Cheeky little s**t!!
  44. Guest13875124
    Yuo really don't deserve to have children if you physically harm them. He will remember what you did..forever
  45. Guest13446168
    Good job, but you should have called the friends parents, had them come over and spank their sons right ther and then. In a similar situation, I did just that , 3 other fathers belted thei sons at my house, they were all spanked in front of each others on ther bare butts, with the belt.
  46. Guest13418470
    You did the right thing. If he is going to act like a child, he should be treated as one. If I were you, I would have given him 40 hard smacks with a hairbrush. Keep up the good work. He needs to be taught to respect his parents.
  47. Guest13418470
    You did the right thing. If is going to act like a child, he should be treated as one. If I was you, I would have given him 40 hard smacks with a hairbrush. Keep up the good work. He needs to be taught to respect his parents.
  48. Guest12898612
    You bet. But in a similar situation, I called my sons friends Dads, they came over and each of us spanked our own sons first, then took turns spanking the other boys. We used our belts on their butts, lots of crying, sobbs and sorry's, with very sore asses to go home and think about what they did
  49. Guest12549469
    he's lucky he didn't get punched in the face! you did the right thing
  50. Guest11731259
    i think that you did the right thing he went out of the house with out you knowing his friends were out with him i personally would have spanked his friends too i am 27 and i was spanked alot by my friends parents but unfortunatlly we cant do that now that we are parents our selves my daughter went down the street with her friends and she is 11 and i spanked her infront of her friends and called their parents and their parents spanked their kids too
  51. Guest11354910
    Maybe the reason he is running out at night is because he has an abusive mom. This was totally out of line and you should be ashamed of yourself.
  52. Guest11354910
    Maybe the reason he is running out at night is because he has an abusive mom. This was totally out of line and you should be ashamed of yourself.
  53. Guest11354910
    Maybe the reason he is running out at night is because he has an abusive mom. This was totally out of line and you should be ashamed of yourself.
  54. Guest11310629
    Yes, you were right. He deserved punishment and 12-year-old boy may be spanked in front friends, if all were boys. You had no to spank him on the bare bottom in front girls, of course.
  55. Guest4802
    Yes it was wrong You can and should be charged with sexual assault 12 year old is too old to pull down his pants .

    At 12 would you have your father do this in front of a group of girls
  56. Guest2240
    Well i think it is fine you punished behavior. I think the pulling down his pants part could be bad if one of his friends spilled the beans to his parents and they mistook that as something else (as sad as it is there are parents that think everything is wrong).

    I would have also called each of the parents to comepick up their child at 3AM.
  57. Guest2032
    You couldn't find a belt or stick? He more than deserved it.

    I have boys 11 and 15.... there are teen boys at my home constantly. Their parents know that I will punish their children too. Sad thing is...they don't tell their parents if I punish them...they know that they would get it again! ( from their parents)
  58. Guest993
    Lol he deserved it- he needs to learn to respect girls... But I wouldn't do it again- you probably got the point across that it could happen.
  59. Guest3113
    it was so wrong 2 do he is 12 12 year olds do that just punish him and tell him not 2 do it again or punishment will b worse
  60. Guest6129
    No i dont think it was for you to do. Your son deserved it . Sneaking out at night,to meet some girls,and comes at three in morning. I would have done the same thing if I had a son who did that to me.Plus it doesn't matter how old you are. And no it's not exactly child abuse
  61. Guest715
    i would have handled it differently...i would have confronted the boys to tell the parents about sneaking out or you would..i am afraid your son will only be mocked
  62. Guest6368
    wow that was very wrong. youshould have grounded him or something. but definetely not spanked him in front of his friends. and btw spankings dont hurt after youre like 11. lol. so ya that was probably useless.
  63. Guest1040
    Next time use the wire end of the swatter, it will hurt more. Do you think you kid will sneak out of your house again? no it was the right response, and spanking is not illegal. He might not like you for a bit, but you are his MOM NOT His Friend! When will parents understand that, as you obviously do?
  64. Guest5019
    No, sounds to me like he deserved it, and the embarassment of having it happen in front of his friends probably taught him more that the spanking itself.
  65. Guest4054
    Yeah I think that is wrong of you. You should not spank him with or without his friends there. He will be so humiliated because of it and his friends will think you are a bit of a psycho and probably would not come round again. I know he should not be sneaking out, but I think that that was really harsh. Could not you have just grounded him or some other conventional punishment? It is not like he hurt anyone.
  66. Guest1363
    At least you showed him not to mess with you.. But i'm sure you could have dealt with it differently.. I.E. not in front of his friends? But then again you were angry at the time!
  67. Guest7722
    For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and the reaction your son may have to you hitting and humiliating him is not something he is just going to have right now. He is going to remember that you did that to him in 10 years, 20 years and so on, and his opposite reaction could be to be the better for it, but much more likely he will have a subconscious desire to humiliate others. His friends are going to be making fun of him for this for a while most likely, and will tell other friends. Right now he can not hit back or humiliate someone like that, but in the future he will be able to. I think you made a horrible decision. I have never laid a hand on my daughters and they are sweet, hardworking, honest girls. I would never humiliate them like you did. YOU behaved like a child. You were upset and instead of behaving like an adult with the prudence to wait until you had gotten a bit of sleep and calmed down, you reacted at the moment, and hit and humiliated your child. You need to grow up.
  68. Guest9566
    I think that your did the right thing, because if I was to do that my mother would have done the same thing. So you should be proud of your self for being a great mother. p.s- your son might be a little p**s of at you though for embarrassing him in from of his friends. p.s- for Lou S that is not child abuse it is called discipline your children. Something that most parents these days do not do.
  69. Guest9213
    12 times.? in front of his friends.? i could understand 5 times not in front of his friends...but i think yo went a little overboard...your scarring him and embarrasing him in front of his friends. its true, he needs to learn his lesson, but not by humiliation. please think about this...

    what if he goes to school and has no more friends, or nobody wants to talk to him because they think his mom is abusive.?
  70. Guest8278
    Omg! my friend (who is extremely stupid) has snuck out so many times and her parents caught her and the only thing that her mom does is takes away the computer and cellphone. Im 14 and there should be a severe punishment for that! You should have spanked his friends! i cant believe everyone is sneaking out now! Wild children out there!

    im glad you spanked hhim because he needed it
  71. Guest5748
    Well I can understand why you are mad, but I think you could have handled it better. Spanking, especially in front of friends, probably embarrassed him.
  72. Guest7461
    I think that was extreme. I would be partial to spanking kids at that age, but the effects of the spanking is just not as effective as it was when they were younger. I understand that you were angry. Who would not be to find out your kid snuck out. However, if you must punish him with pain, then I would have probably just gave him one swift hit to the butt. Now, with your pants down, bending over swats, you embarassed him in front of his friends. He is at the age where social acceptance is developing. And you just supposedly ruined it for him. It is going to take awhile for you to gain the trust back from him. Grounding would have been fine. Taking away a priveledge would have been fine. Spanking 12 times was extreme.
  73. Guest3379

    You took HIM into the basement ... but spanked him "in front of his friends". Were they in the basement too, watching? At 12, it should have been his DAD that would do the spanking ... esp. if it were on the bare. Like most groups, would not each of his friends have gotten a dozen also? . How many girls were there in a girls house? They snuck out too? 12 year olds ... 3 am ... where were the parents??? [From what I have heard, not many years ago the girls dad would have "tore up" your sons butt and his friends butts ... so that you and your husband would have had to wait until after they got released from intensive care at the hospital!] . .

  74. Guest6328

    WOW well what he did was wrong but like it is ok to kinda spank him but like,

    not infront of his friends that must be reallyy embarassing and it could effect his umm im not sure what it is called (SORRY FOR MY GRAMMAR) it is called like, social status? or something like when he goes to school? again sorry im not thinking right..

  75. Guest9505
    OMG! You spanked your 12-year-old son in front of his friends? Forever, from now on, he will always be known as the spanked boy. Congratulations, if your goal was to raise someone who is going to be picked on until he leaves school. At least you have assured that the girls are never going to have anything to do with him again, eh?
  76. Guest9411
    That was just wrong.Yes, he needs to be punished, but like that? Maybe a months grounding plus extra chores, but that?
  77. Guest9751
    i am all for spanking....but i think that was a little unnecessary. kids always do stuff like that. a good talking to would be nice, and calling those kids parents. but spanking him in front of his friends, and with a fly swatter?? now that is just cruel. i do not think i would ever forgive my mom if she did that to me.
  78. Guest3338
    Humiliation seems to work, but I doubt you can do that before he is bigger than you! As long as it worked, I am down for it. I hope you told the other kids parents, too.
  79. Guest1934
    Are you making a habit of this? If so, that is abuse. He is 12. I do not know if he has the good judgment that that was the wrong thing to do. You should have talked to him about it, and set ground rules for sleepovers. Spanking him is a mideval discipline that will either have a positive or a very negative outcome. Instead of whoopin him, try taking away privelages the next time he does that.
  80. Guest2044
    Why could not you do it in private.Just call the kids mothers and have them do the same.Is that so hard.Hes gonna be emotionally scared for life.
  81. Guest6225
    ok well honestlyyy, if its his first time doing this, then maybe that was harsh. it would have been better if u didnt do it in front of his friends though! then it would have been completely fine! but he probably learned his lesson.
  82. Guest9276
    umm i do not think it was wrong to spank, i would be pissed too.... but you might have ruined him forever in front of his friends he may now have low self esteem.... but you didnt know... just talk to him.. he might be getting made fun of and that sucks. sorry.....
  83. Guest577

    well im 14 now and my mum has never ever spanked me and i hgave grown up too be very mature young lady and respect my mom, if my mom spanked me i would have walked out and lived with my dad (they're divorced)

    but its your son and if the punishment worked then good on you, but, 12 times? maybe a few too many and not in front of his friends 'cause he may get bullied now.

  84. Guest1666
    Definitely not! I am surprised he did not spank you back. Someone needs to spank you more often. In my opinion, a loving mother would not deal with her kids that way. If you can not lecture him or talk to him respectfully, I would not be surprised if he already hates you by now. If you want to raise him properly, treat him how you will want to treated before it is too late. Child abuse is not the way to go.
  85. Guest1316
    To spank a 12 year old boy in front of his peers is too extreme.YES he should be punished.I would have called all of their parents to take them home.I would totally ground my son and take things away.To be humilated like that in front of his friends will do nothing but make him a target for kids to make fun of and tease him.Kids can be so mean.I work in a junior high,I see how quick they can turn on a friend.If nothing else the spanking should have been done in private.
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