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Funny Jokezzz

by Ammad Ghauri  |  3 years, 3 month(s) ago

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Funny Jokezzz

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  1. Ammad Ghauri
    A little boy wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read: Dear GOD, Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those b******s deducted $95.00.

  2. Ammad Ghauri
    There were two young brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing about a rabbi nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to her husband that she would ask the rabbi to talk with the boys and he agreed. The mother went to the rabbi and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent the younger to the rabbi. The rabbi sat the boy down across his HUGE, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the rabbi pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Young man, where is God?" The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, then said nothing. Again, louder, the rabbi pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" Again, the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the rabbi leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked, "Young man, I ask you, where is God?" The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, "We're in Bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g trouble." The older boy asked, "What do you mean, 'BIG trouble?'" His brother replied, "I'm tellin' ya', we're in BIG trouble. God is missing and they think we did it!!!"
  3. Ammad Ghauri
    "Mummy, where do babies come from? "The stork, dear." "Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing our house?" "The police, dear." "Mummy, if our house was on fire, who would save us?" "The fire department, dear." "Mummy, where does food come from?" "Farmers, dear." "Mummy?" "Yes, dear?" "What do we need Daddy for?"
  4. Ammad Ghauri
    A boy and a girl were in love. When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home thru a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly." So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple next day went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in a white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot.. The girl was devastated and lost her senses. It was only after sometime that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly. Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady.. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream. The next night her father had the same dream , he also ignored it. Then the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes with the blood stains immediately. She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream.. She again washed the stains but some still remained. But again the next night she had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible would happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained. She was very tired. In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked on the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted. The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is this...?" The old lady replied... . . . . . "This is Nirma Washing Powder" "Washing Powder Nirma, Washing Powder Nirma" Doodh si safedi nirma se aaye, Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye, Sabki Pasand Nirma Washing powder nirma, Washing powder nirma.Nirma 10 ka 1, do pe ek free I know how you all are feeling now... I have been through this too.
  5. Guest317532
    hey hey , zip it.
  6. Ammad Ghauri
    An Irishman’s been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” “How did you know?” he asks. “The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.”
  7. Guest317532
    Please this should be marked as spam, just dont understand ....... was it funny ?
  8. Ammad Ghauri
    Ok, there’s this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-maker truck driver steps next to him, and drinks what he was staring at. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll pay you another drink. I just can’t see a man crying”. “No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. And the police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just runs away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, to this bar. And when I was thinking about getting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison cocktail I just mixed…”
  9. Ammad Ghauri
    Magistrate: Aakhir tum baar baar isi ek ghar se kyun pakray jatay ho? Chor: Janab main in ka family chor hun… --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the Bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn’t mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar. The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The Bartender decides to try to make some conversation. “What’s your name?” He says to the first duck. “Huey” said the first duck. “How’s your day been, Huey?” “Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day”. “Oh. That’s nice.”, says the Bartender. Then he says to the second duck “Hi. And what’s your name?”. “Dewey” came the answer. “So how’s your day been, Dewey?”. “Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again”. So the Bartender turns to the third duck and says “So, you must be Louie”. “No”, growls the third duck, “My name is Puddles. And don’t ask about my f*****g day”
  10. Ammad Ghauri
    Ladki Boli: Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi, Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi. Ladka Bola : Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga, Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.... Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kya chahiye tumhain Jo bhi kaho ge meri dukaan per wo paoge maine kahaa ke kutte ke khane ka cake hai bola yahin pe khaoge ya leke jaoge... Ek aadmi ki 6 ungliaan thi, Sab log usey Akbar bulate thay. Socho Kyun . . . Thora aur . . . Nahi pata kya . . . . Kyonki Akbar uska Naam tha
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